Approaching a suitor: The Indirect Approach

Let’s say you want to take the indirect method when approaching your love interest. So you’re a little shy. You’re nervous and can’t work up the willpower to come right out and ask her out. How do you go about this?

Well let me tell you.

In this tactic, you use an excuse to talk to your woman. This is one of those cases where you purposely place yourself near her while you both wait for your food or you reach for some napkins while she reaches for a straw and you smile and say “excuse me,” and let her go first. In this case, you’re both waiting near each other for your morning Starbucks. Now you need an opening line. Make sure that you don’t use any lies in your opening line (I just moved here and I’m looking for a great place to take my grandma to dinner. Any recommendations?) because if things go well that’s going to come back to bite you in the butt. Your best and most natural bet is to help her out if at any point the opportunity arises – she drops something, spills something, needs help opening the door, etc. If that opportunity doesn't come up then you have a wide variety of options.

10 ways to get an “IN” for the shy guy

1. Pretend someone calls you on the phone and talks about something pretty embarrassing (so it draws a little attention), so when you hang up you can apologize to her and explain what funny/awkward thing just happened on the other end. Make this situation into a joke.

2. When she gets her food (if it’s uncommon), express surprise that that’s what she ordered and ask her if it’s good. Keep it light-hearted as you tease her food choice, you don’t want her to get defensive.

3. Offer her a napkin, cup, fork, straw, etc. when she reaches for them.

4. Pay for her purchase/meal/movie. Whatever she's buying near you.

5. Hold the door open for her.

6. Offer to carry her load - books, tray, groceries, etc.

7. Offer to throw away her trash or take her plate.

8. Slip her a note with a compliment, your name, and number.

9. Offer to let her go ahead of you in line.

10. Ask her advice. About anything. Where's the nearest movie theater, the best ice cream shop, how she'd recommend getting to an address. It doesn't matter if you know the place well - she doesn't know that.


If none of these will work in your situation let me know and I can give you some more ideas!