Assess the Situation

As a disclaimer, these suggestions we’re providing are merely that – SUGGESTIONS. These tactics may not apply to everyone. You may be that one solitary girl who likes the grubby man who smells like beets, but my point is that most girls don’t. This guide is for the majority, not the exception (He’s Just Not That Into You, anyone?)

Assess the Situation

As a GUY:

So you've cleaned up nicely and worked up the nerve to talk to that pretty lady at the next table you've had your eye on. Now what? First thing to do is assess the situation. Without staring at her and risking freaking her out (girls are going to be immediately turned off if they catch some random guy staring at them) survey the situation surrounding her.


Is she sitting with someone else? Don’t interrupt her.
Is she talking on the phone? Don’t interrupt her.
Is she working on a laptop or writing in a notebook? Don’t interrupt her.

Get my drift? If she’s BUSY, don’t interrupt her. Watch from the corner of your eye for her to take a break from what she’s doing, a time when she’s just looking around and taking in her surroundings.


You’re free to talk to this woman if she’s:



Eating
Reading leisurely (a novel or newspaper is leisure, a textbook or research paper is not. If she’s highlighting or taking notes it’s usually not for fun)
Texting or emailing
Surfing the internet
Just sitting or standing nearby

Am I right girls? Regardless of who approaches you, in what other situations would you be annoyed to be approached?

She doesn't look busy, so let’s read her body language. You don’t want to fail before you've even started. By observing the way a girl holds herself will tell you whether or not she’ll even be receptive to your advances. She’s communicating with you before either of you even says a word.

Positive signs:

If she’s smiling, even slightly
If her body’s turned towards you
If, as you’re approaching, her eyes widen and focus on you
If her head is tilted slightly
If her hands are running through her hair (could also show annoyance so be careful)
If her hands are on her hips

Negative signs:

If she’s rubbing her eyes
If she’s biting her lip
If she’s biting her nails
If her head is down while you’re speaking to her
If her arms are folded
If her fists are clenched
If her hands are on her head
If she's frowning

As a GIRL:

GIRLS, if you want to be approached by that cute guy standing in the corner, don’t surround yourself with your girlfriends! While that may add security for you, it turns guys off. It’s intimidating for him to have to work up the courage to ask you out in front of all your friends and risk getting humiliated by all 6 of you. It takes courage on your part to be alone and hold your own, but if you’re expecting the man to work up the nerve to ask you out, you may as well meet him halfway.



Guys are a little easier to approach, luckily! The only times he'll be more annoyed than flattered are if he is really busy and in a time crunch, or sitting with another girl he's interested in when you interrupt him. Using the same criteria as above to determine if he's busy, gauge his mood. If you meet his eyes more than once and more than just a casual glance, that's an invitation to talk to him, and typically an expression of interest. The body language applies to guys as well so if he is displaying more negative signals than positive ones then you should probably wait for another opportunity to approach him.

Even though your target may be displaying signs in both groups, go with the majority to help assess the situation. One sign doesn't do it.