Confidence, Courage, and Dating

Hey all! Let me introduce myself. My name's Kim and ever since I learned that boys never actually had cooties I have been obsessed with the communication in relationships.  My friends in high school and roommates in college used to ask me how I attracted so much attention and how they could learn to flirt like me. I had a love interest in college tell me that I was really good at letting guys know it was okay to ask me out, that they shouldn't fear rejection.

If you've only ever tried vanilla ice cream, how will you know if you like strawberry or butter pecan better? Maybe after you've tried out all those flavors you'll decide you still like vanilla the best, but at least you'll know the difference. When I began dating, my dad exemplified this by advising me to go out with and get to know 100 different men before choosing one to marry. As a reference, my two older sisters didn't quite make it to 100, and by the time I got married at 23 I'd been out with over 200 men before I lost count. If this blog can help anyone through their struggles in relationships and dating then I will consider this endeavor worth it.

To jump start this life change, the first and I think most important quality that influences relationships is:

1. Confidence/Courage

For both men and women, exhibiting confidence in an interaction with the opposite sex is the greatest indicator of success. So, what if you don't have any confidence? Fake it 'til you make it. I understand, once you've been rejected one too many times it's hard to muster up any confidence to display the next time. You've been turned down the last few times you asked someone out. Does that mean you're unlikable? No! Does that mean you're never going to find love? Of course not! The right person just hasn't shown up yet, the one who is perfect for you. When someone rejected me I used to tell myself, "well, if he doesn't like me, so what? There is someone out there who does." And you have to believe in that because it's true. We as human beings aren't meant to be alone, and if you want to find love and are working towards it, someday you will. Your worth does not depend on who is asking you out, how many girls are saying yes, or how many second dates you go on. Your worth is your own and no one else can diminish it. If rejection gets you down come up with a mantra for yourself, something to remind yourself that you're worthy of love and that you are loved, even if you don't recognize it right then. 

There's nothing more attractive than a man or woman who displays confidence. Every living person has been given a specific set of talents and abilities, and if you don't believe that you have any....then you are dead wrong! Life is too short not to have confidence in ourselves and what we are capable of. We can do anything we put our minds to, and, YES, that includes getting the right guy or gal for you. As the great Wayne Gretzky once said, "You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take." The same can be said for the game of dating. If you want to date that hot waitress at your favorite restaurant or get to know that cute guy sitting to your left at the coffee house, then you have TO TAKE CHANCES. Life presents each of us with many opportunities, and it is up to us to take advantage of those opportunities. We can't wait for the love of our lives to fall into our laps. It just doesn't work like that. You have to work to get to know that person that interests you, and work to nourish the relationship. If it doesn't work out, so what? Try again. And keep on trying until you're successful. You can fail 1,000 times, but remember, you only have to win once. Just ask Thomas Edison ;)